Morning
by insert-unique-username-here
Summary: I'd just like to point out that this is a fanfiction that my friends and I wrote to take the piss, because we couldn't be bothered to revise for History. This was not written seriously, and we were laughing through the whole of it. So I hope you enjoy it, leave me a review if you want, and we'll keep updating the story when we're in for exams.


"I have a large penis." Edward said, as he inserted his sausage into her abyss of terror. "Oh Edward," Bella whimpered. "You're so old." Edward Snickered, and then Mars Bared, ad Minstreled. "I'm like a mature wine; I taste like shit no matter what." Bella Marvelled and DCed at the sight of the light cascading onto Edward. She could see his balls, sparkling like those of the disco kind. It was like watching Tinkerbell sprinkling her pixie dust inside her cave of destiny.

All of a sudden, a dark, broody British male swagged in, wearing nothing but a bandana to cover his man-carrot. "Bow down to me, bitches." He demanded, his black locks slicked back with Lucy's jizz. "Are you... God?" Bella whispered, her voice muffled by Edward's butt cheeks. "No. I am a Milk Jug. Now excuse me, I need to get my helmet." Reaching behind him, he pulled out a helmet from his own personal Asgard. The helmet had been upgraded since its last use; the curved, golden horns now flashed and vibrated, similar to a pornstar. Bella gasped as he rammed the oddly banana shaped candy sticks into Edward's mouth. "You've got a hole in your neck, but at least you can deep throat easily now." "Oh Dark One," Bella exclaimed. "You're so über cool."

As Loki began to thrust his horns further into Edward's neck, they heard a sudden crash that came from the room next door. The three of them thought nothing of it and so continued with their game. However, as soon as Loki began to move onto Bella, the wall opposite them suddenly came down, due to a naked Bruce and Steve, now rolling around on the floor. Was ist das?

Edward licked his lips upon seeing this. In all of his 110 years, he had never seen anything that wavered his inner core as much. Wiping her lips, Bella noticed the chorus of happy sticks dancing at the event taking place in front of them. The sticks pulsated to the beat of their heavy breaths as the sexual tension and the man-carrots uplifted. The two men on the floor opened their eyes after their period of long awaited ecstasy cascaded. Blinking, they looked around at the other sweaty occupants of the room. A red tint hit their faces as they realised they had been caught in the compromising position they were in. Loki laughed at their crimson faces, glancing over their Stark naked bodies, glistening in the light. Bruce tried, but could not cover the entire length of his swollen cucumber. Through his embarrassment, Steve did not realise his sweet, sticky sugar dummy was on display to the admirers.

"Someone having a party without me?" The roof caved in and a blue box toppled inside, narrowly missing the writhing figures on the floor. "Yeah, sorry about that." The man replied to Bella's squeal, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. "Haven't quite got used to the controls yet, o my had her for about 50 years!" Edward raised his eyebrows but remained silent, the Loki horn shaped hole in his throat preventing him from speech. The man turned to face Edward, "You've got a..." He gestured to his neck. Edward just rolled his eyes, which made the man smirk. "Nice hole."

Bella sat up, her shrivelled prunes on display. "Are you joining this orgy or not?" The TARDIS moaned in disapproval, which made him smirk even more. "Sure. Ignore her, she's just jealous." The TARDIS moaned again, louder this time, and flashed her lights. The man stripped, his tousled hair bouncing out of his shirt collar. Loki glanced down at his sonic screwdriver, and Bella gasped. "Are you going to drive me, sonically horny one?" Bella's vortex of no return involuntarily opened.

The man allonsy-ed forward into her vortex. After a few thrusts that brought Bella to the end of the universe of ecstasy, his Torchwood starting glowing golden. Bella gasped upon seeing this. "I'm only used to seeing sparkly ones." She moaned. "GIVE ME YOUR GOLDEN STICK OF GLORY!" Loki burst into song, "I'm on the edge of glory..." As he put Edward's meat stick in his mouth.


End file.
